Evil deeds in Paris

“Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you to stop what you’re doing and listen.”

"Andy Roddick won a match at the French Open. And not just any match, he beat an extremely capable exponent of claycourt tennis and ex-top-20 player in Jarko Niemenen, 6-3 in the fifth.

"After the match, the sixth-seeded American was quizzed on his peculiar decision not to play any lead up claycourt tournaments before the years second major.

“Actually that’s totally wrong,” said Roddick.

“I was scheduled to play in Madrid but had to pull out so there. You’re it.”

For the rest of the madness, please go to www.noworriestennis.com