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Chela’s Top-10 Ways You Know You’re a WTA Tour Player

Seems some tennis players were pretty bored today.

And so the rather clever Juan Ignacio Chela of Argentina decided to break up the tedium with a series of Tweets that are sort of his version of a Letterman Top-10 list.

Chela took on the ladies of the WTA Tour, you know, just for fun. He did have the courtesy to Tweet-ask countrywomen Gisela Dulko and Paola Suárez for permission in advance, showing just the kind of enlightened fellow he is.
 
wimb10 cheladulko opt The WTA gospel according to Chela

Do you still respect me, Gise?

Suárez told him to proceed, but that revenge can be quite painful.

 

Chela's Top Ten

10. It is crucial to produce 100 millimetres of tears a day, on average.

9. The sound when you hit the ball exceeds 1500 decibels.

8. At some point in your career, you’ll have an acne attack.

7. Before serving, you turn your back to the court and fix your strings for 20 seconds.

6. You never practice with other WTA players.

5. When your coach comes on court to talk to you, you look elsewhere.

4. You must hang a stuffed animal on your racquet bag.

3. From the quarterfinals on, you come on court with makeup.

2. You hate all of your colleagues.

And … the No. 1 reason you know you’re a WTA Tour player is …

1. At the end of the match, you wave like Miss Universe.

His ladies thought it was fairly humorous, although Dulko took care to point out that it was more a list of qualities that belonged to the Tour’s elite players, not the rank and file.

Yup, it’s a little harsh, a little politically incorrect. Chela’s female fans will think he’s brilliant – but if anyone else Tweeted it, they’d be outraged and appalled. Such is the way it is.

 

Compliments of the Montreal Gazette

Views: 641

Tags: Chela's, Gazette, Montreal, funny, news, ten, tennis', top

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Comment by TennisWithD on May 13, 2012 at 7:17am

Dulko is too beautiful to be that uptight! 

@Mark I think he was going for volume; you know your metrics! ;) 

That could be Dulko's first come back right there but most players from either tours didn't crack a book open long enough

Comment by Mark / The Mayor on May 7, 2012 at 4:27pm

My personal favorites are 7,6,4 and 3.  Now, Dulko must do an ATP version!

Comment by Steven White on May 7, 2012 at 2:59pm

You'd have to ask Chela..but maybe he was measuring the tears in streams (as in a, "stream of tears" )...or maybe he meant to say milliliters.

Comment by Mark / The Mayor on May 7, 2012 at 12:15pm

How does one measure tears in length?  Just asking.

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